Iulia Adriana is also a graduate of the Faculty of Engineering in Hunedoara. He currently holds the position of Software Development Engineer at Continental Automotive Timișoara Romania.
An unfortunate incident during her student days motivated her to take on her existence with grace.
Unique, wonderful and authentic, Iulia it sensitively presents us with a portrait of the fearless covenant of self-transformation. The peaks it conquers step by step inspire us to be aware life as a magical journey of reconciliation with our human and divine side!
,,Now that I’m a little calmer, I can also share about „I love failure” edition 2023
In a few words, it was: Wow!!!! In other words: it was a step forward for me.
During the first phone conversation I had with Mihail Pricop about this topic, he told me that it was a super cool event and that I should think about whether I would like to speak at it. He knew that I thought I wasn’t up to it, but everyone around me knew it was the other way around.
Then I talked to Meșter Cătălin, a guy who seemed super cool on the phone, who I didn’t know, and who made me think about why I would love failure. I had never thought so deeply about failure until then. It gave me time to think about my participation in the event. After that time had passed, I said, ,,I’m sorry, but I can’t.” I can’t speak in front of so many people, I’m not the type to feel comfortable in front of the spotlight, so I’m sorry”. Obviously, he said he’d let me think about it. I called Mihail to let him know I’m sorry to disappoint him and he, again, insisted we meet and talk more. We talked, he made me understand what I was really afraid of: failing to deliver the message at the level of the other speakers at the event, who they were way beyond me in this field.
Again, I made the mistake of comparing myself to others and not to myself and my purpose: the desire to make those around me appreciate themselves more and live in the present. Luiza and Sabin naturally were on Mihail’s side in this, believing in me more than I did. After Mihail left, he left me the task of preparing my speech.
The next day, I remember taking my laptop and writing 2 pages in word that I sent to a few people. Feedback received: most cried. I asked them whether the speach depressed them, or whether they felt encouraged, for fear that no one should complain of my pity, although I had not even touched on things to that effect.
The second thing that got me thinking: I still had/have this fear of being vulnerable, of not appearing to be weak. Obviously they were all encouraged. It was the confirmation I needed to believe in myself that I could make a difference by going there. All this was during the summer.
Another stage followed, after I confirmed with Cătălin that I was going: to meet Mirel Bran and Octavia, the ones who told me about deadlines: a presentation speech, some pictures for the poster. Everything seemed like an effort to me, because I don’t spend much time in front of cameras (neither photo nor video). Why? That I don’t know how to sit, that the positions for taking pictures are not the best and when I look at the pictures/videos, after taking them, I don’t like most of them, but this is still from my childhood, that even then I don’t like them.
The closer the October days, the greater the stress. Last Thursday I left for Bucharest, with the thought that ,,whatever it is, it will be, if I manage to change the mentality of a single person out of the 1000 participants, then I am fulfilled and it was worth the stress, the journey and the time to go there” .
On Friday, at the networking event, I met the people behind the event that I had only talked to by phone or video, but also other people who turned out to be extraordinary.
On Saturday we went to see what the National Opera hall looks like, to see how the entrance to the stage is, how many steps it has, what bumps, etc. – things that are meaningful to me.
When I saw how big the hall and the stage were, I wanted to call Cătălin again and tell him, it’s not for me.
I also see a comment from Achimoto Marius that he would come with his wife to the event. I couldn’t believe it…
Monday: it was outstanding!!!!
Everyone who took the stage was amazing, I cried at some, I was encouraged by all of them, but looking at them, I couldn’t help but imagine what I would be like on stage (there wasn’t much left) and I felt how my my breath stops, my heart beats faster and the panic attack takes over. Just thinking that I will be there the next day. And there were several such attacks that day. On the night from Monday to Tuesday I woke up around 3 am and couldn’t sleep thinking about what I’ll say on stage if I pass out?!
I kept saying to myself: Iulia, exactly you, who studied for so long for all the exams, how the hell could you not learn a single speach in so many months, until now?! I didn’t learn any as if there was something I needed to learn it was no longer authentic, from the heart and with emotion, but even at that moment I didn’t know the answer to that question consciously, but my subconscious clearly knew that was the real reason . I couldn’t even eat those days. It’s a good diet method.
Big day: Tuesday. A few seconds before I went on stage I felt that my mouth was so dry, from emotions, that I could not speak. I saw a bottle of water and asked if I could have a drink of it. Obviously I heard myself in the whole hall.
I finally got on stage, I started talking as I watched the pictures of me roll in the back and I told from the heart everything I felt and how I wish people would appreciate every moment I had they have, without going through something dramatic to teach them that.
The emotions eventually passed, thinking that the people in the hall are still people like me, no one eats me, even though my speech is not perfect (even though I am a perfectionist).
They all stood up and applauded me. That was the confirmation that I didn’t waste my time and the time of those in the Opera hall, time being the most valuable gift you can give to someone.
I realized then that, just as everyone with an amputated limb feels pain, it is our brain that sets us limits. It’s hard to get out of your comfort zone and erase from your mind the things that drag you down, even if they are created by your own mind. It’s hard, but not impossible.
It was a limit I crossed that day. A limit imposed by our own mind. I’m very proud of myself for proving to myself, once again, that I can do anything I really want and that the limits are only the ones we set for ourselves. Remember this too and live your life to the fullest and with meaning, every day. Humanity needs good deeds and to rediscover love.” ❤️
